Sorting Interiors Library

An interior designer most hip
Her library to fully equip

Had too much on the shelves

(And with no sign of elves)
She's discarding each old color chip

Up the Creek

The weather in Winston is bleak
But then Harrisburg's also not peak

So whether the weather

Is snow drops or heather
It's better here than up Shitz Creek.

Idle Time

As time passes - lunar and tidal
Even saints can become homicidal,

So for stress to erase

While time tarries its pace
On occasion, this keyboard is idle

Christmas Errands

With Christmastime drawing more near,
In the hope that we spread joy & cheer,

Preparations are needed

If traditions be heeded
So I'm out running errands, my dear.

Vacation in Scotland

To relax - and the nerves to becalm,
A vacation abroad is the balm.

If you need some assistance

While I'm gone a great distance
Contact them@this-email.com

Name that Alfred Hitcock Film...

Here's a riddle in 5 simple lines:
Name the silver screen hit that defines

This phobic sensation

Which brought admiration
To the highest of Hitchcock's designs

Late Summer in North Carolina

In North Carolina, the norm:
Early mornings, late evenings quite warm

Yet the days, they grow shorter

Through the year's summer quarter
But the season's not long to transform

Washing the Dog

He's friendly and loyal and true,
Follows blithely without much ado,

But his hygiene is wanting -

The odor, it's daunting!
My dog's bath is way overdue.

Chillin' with Southern Rock

Chillin' while working, the box plays the tune
Sweet Home Alabama and Mississip' Moon

Susi-Q and Proud Mary -

The Weight they will carry
Our cares on this calm afternoon

Doing Laundry

So as not to seem gouche and agrestic
She's away on assignments domestic

To sort dingies and whites

From colors and brights
And to tranform drab into majestic

Away from Alphanumeric Display

At home or at work she would play
With her alphanumeric display

Though most often there

With her tush in her chair
It would seem, as of now, she's away

Designers & Writers Retire

Both designers and writers retire
For a good evening's rest they require

Heavy thoughts swept away

To return the next day
And choose colors and words that inspire

Lost Project Files

Oh project file, where hast thou gone?
All the spreadsheets and pictures I've drawn?

Though you were loved sweetly,

You left quite discreetly,
And no sign of return with the dawn.

Throwing Up Salad

Though touted as roughage for diet
Lettuce, dressing and croutons disquiet

The stomach at night

So beware it's delight
'Cause coming back up, it's a riot.

Cappuccino Rejoice

Though her passion is through written voice,
Caffeine is her true drug of choice.

Esspresso, steamed milk,

Amaretto like silk,
Give the senses a cause to rejoice.

Interior Design Proclivity

With interior design her proclivity,
To pick colors - her favorite activity,

But with projects residual,

This poor individual,
Was taxed to maintain productivity.

Interruptions Discouraged

Behind a closed door did she wisk
To create files on the main network disk

Though her work she enjoyed

She was often annoyed
So interrupt at your own risk.

Paulson's Bailouts

With Paulson and Congress on course
The money tap's running full force

For it seems good old Hank

Has a plan for this stank
And with luck we'll dodge buyer's remorse

Wine Break Until 11pm

She'll pour a short glass of port wine
And sit at her table of pine

By eleven at night

In the dimest of light
She'll be working on graphic design.

Macaroni & Cheese

With her palate and appetite to please
But domestically challenged for these

She went to the kitchen

To find somethin' bitchin'
Hey, noodles with processed powdered cheese!

Electronic Errands

By and large she designs at her desk -
Art deco, art moderne, romanesque

But on her they rely

When electronics die
So she's off easing terror kafkaesque

Krankies Late Night Coffee Run

Alone in loft late at night
Working late in the dimest of light

Camaraderie calls

Inside coffeehouse walls
So to Krankies she heads with delight

Krankie's for Breakfast Cappuccino

Though it's too hot outside for merino,
It's always right for cappuccino

So into the sun

To Krankie's she'd run
For her coffee and breakfast panino

Dinner with a Septuagenarian

Though typically not so gregarian
And definitely not vegetarian

She went with her clan

As set forth in the plan
To partake with a septuagenarian

Japanese Restaurant with Family

Partial to macaroni and cheese,
Other cooking not her expertise.

Boredom to circumvent,

With her family she went,
To partake of cusine Japanese.

Restocking Cupboards

The coming week for to prepare,
To restock the cupboards now bare,

Processed food she'd need more,

So she went to the store
To gather supplies with great care

Around the Block with Dog Until 9pm

An interior designer did walk
with her dog once or twice 'round the block

to watch the sun set

with her favorite pet
And return at about nine o'clock

Walking in Cold With Dog Until 7pm

With her four legged friend she did roam
Though cold the night air she'd bemoan

To walk 'round the block

'Til past seven o'clock
At which time she'd return to her home

Solitarian Life

Through her life, figures authoritarian
Found her lacking skills utilitarian

So her own road she found

To stand her own ground
And flourished in life solitarian

Hearts Fonder in Absence

A middle-aged woman did wander
To places both hither and yonder

So off she did fly

Her trade for to ply
Hoping hearts, in her absence, grow fonder

Irish Pub with Dog

A girl and her dog did preambulate
With her cell phone in case to confabulate

To visit the pub

And partake of some grub
The return, her proposals to tabulate

Poetry Badly When Able

She brought unique skills to the table
Though her friends thought her somewhat unstable

With her head full of vapor

She produced lots of paper
And wrote poetry badly when able

High-Tech Tasks

While everyone does what they do
In the background someone has a clue

About hard disks and chips

And software and scripts
Off on tasks high-tech is you know who

Graphic Designer Confined

There once was a graphic designer
For to work hard her boss did confine her

So she spent every day

Never went out to play
Until half her life was behind her

Working Sequestered

There once was an architect's wife
Whose work was the point of her life

She holed up sequestered

To work unmolestered
And finish her tasks without strife.

Nap with Dog Until Later

She consumed far too much at the table
And left afterwards feeling unstable

She curled up to nap

With her dog on her lap
So that later, to work she'd be able

Web Designer Break Until 10:30

A website designer most nerdy
Was thought to be mentally unsturdy

To work into the night,

She would rest in daylight
And return sometime after 10:30

Break from Boss Until 9pm

There once was a technical writer
Whose boss's pants couldn't be tighter

She took a short break

Until 9pm she did take
So if you don't like, you can bite her.

Tired & Gone to Sleep

Her fame and her fortune to reap
Quite demanding a schedule she did keep

In such work was she mired

She became somewhat tired
And crawled off to her soft bed to sleep

Weary Eyes for Proposals

Very late on a cold winter's eve,
Weary eyes much to tired to achieve

Any further disposal

Toward one more proposal
So 'til 'morrow she then took her leave

Cleaning Basement for Boiler

To save money on energy & heat
A new boiler will accomplish the feat

So through basement storage

To clear a path we will forage
And the space for the boiler make neat

Albuquerque Flamenco Workshop

An interior designer most quirky,
Found that dancing did make her heart perky.

So off she did go,

To study flamenco
And now she is in Albuquerque.

For a week Spanish music the tune,
She will dance morning, evening and noon.

Though her feet will be sore,

She will dance all the more,
And return on the 20th of June.

Baseball Game

When the sounds of the organ ring loud
And the National Anthem's sung proud

Then the game can begin

Though the teams lose or win
For the pleasure of players and crowd

Baseball Season

From the spring into summer through fall
There are some always who hear the call:

The smell of the grass,

Pitcher scratching his ass
And the umpire yelling, Play ball!

Cleaning Up Clutter

Though organized chaos is fine
Sometimes clutter gets over the line

Garbage cans overflowing

And mold that is growing
Must soon go from growth to decline

Sun Tanning

With genetic traits of Lithuania,
A lady from south Pennsylvania

Sat outside with a plan

Her complexion to tan
And left word via trait metromania

Steam Shower & Back to Work

She'll soak in a room full of steam,
And rub into her skin, scented cream

Then her silk gown she'll don,

Her silk robe she'll put on,
Then to work in pursuit of her dream

Hour Break for Shower & Dinner

For sustanance soon to devour
She will take a short break for an hour

And rinse from her skin

The day that has been
And refresh in the steam of the shower

Christmas Peace All Year

While Christmas day draws ever near
With our homes and our hearts full of cheer

Let us try to remember

Beyond this December
To sow peace, love & hope all the year

St. Patrick's Church

She oft thought of God in her time
Of life's moments both sad and sublime

And once in a while

She'd find peace in the aisle
Of St. Patrick's, whose steps she would climb

Bernard Madoff

These were sparked by a competition on the Freakonomics Blog to define "Bernie Madoff" for the online limerick dictionary. I was inspired by the other great offerings there!

Wall street hucksters we have by the ton
Of which Bernard Madoff is one

With their charm they deceive

'Cause we want to believe
That "too good to be true" can be done

With their clever shell games that they play
With our money they seek to betray

But like musical chairs

They will someday get theirs
And like Madoff, should rot 'til they're grey

Bernard Madoff had skills - with no doubt
And for sure, we've seen what he's about

But on Wall Street a thug

In a suit's like a drug
That we can't live with, can't live without

Bernard Madoff - and so many others
Have such greed to shame even their mothers

He’d be sent off to bed

With just water and bread
At old Sing-Sing if I had my druthers

Challenge: Limericks Disguised as Letters

Dear Edward, I earnestly say,
I'm so lonely since you went away.

Your sweet face I miss,

this I seal with a kiss.
And I'll be yours forever, signed Fay

Dear Fay, I find too, it needs said,
that I'm hanging on by a thin thread.

But though we're apart,

you are here in my heart.
So be true to me. Patience! Love Ed

Dear Ed, Before penning romance,
I should tell you our porch step's askance.

But I've found someone strong

who will work for a song,
so don't worry about it's finance.

Dear Fay, I would ask you take care
to stay clear of this workman's repair.

Be sure all that's nailed

is the porch that has failed
and confine all his wood to the stair.

Dear Edward, I've sent with this letter,
my love and a knitted red sweater.

For the great mail amount

we've a special discount
from the postman who's knowing me better.

Dear Fay, Your last letter's unclear,
if the postage or postman is dear.

Why don't you go down

to the office in town
to mail notes through the post brigadier.

Dear Edward, I got your request
and I've done the thing that you suggest.

The bus ride to the post

was enjoyable most
for the young men on board were the best.

Dear Fay, You do cause me some worry,
as your messages' meanings seem blurry

so I'm ending my trip

to return lest you slip.
To this end, I endeavor to hurry.

Dear Edward, You really should know,
by the time you return I shall show

a bit of new weight

to my girth (and your fate).
It's with joy I await your "hello!"

Dear Fay, I shall be home by three
on the 'morrow train eager to see

my wife that is due

and a stair that is new.
I do hope the child looks like me.